twists and turns

i feel like i'm on really bad drugs right now. i'm not, though! but i feel like i am because i cannot sleep, and my stomach keeps making the worst flips and dips and turns and twirls, and i'm so damn nervous and excited. about getting my car, hahahaha. really, it isn't just a car. it's so much damn more than that, it really is. it signifies so many important fucking things, i can't even say. i want to go to sleep, but i won't, but i'm tired so hopefully i will. i want tomorrow to be perfect, and not just because of the car. it's much, much more than that. a million times more.

my body hurtsssss. kay, so goal for the next fifteen days is to go to the gym everyday because on the sixteenth day, i go to new york. and i need to tighten everything that currently jiggles for the beachhhh, hahaha. (okay, maybe like 10 out of those fifteen days, cos i hardly ever go during the weekend- and anyway, i'm going hiking again this weekend!) also i kinda wanna get a spray-on tan, cos my arms are practically BLACK and the rest of my body does not match. and i can't get into a tanning booth because i fear i'm going to get stuck and get tanned to death like in that final destination movie. :( oh, and i like this guy. heheh.

also, survey. stolen from laceandtea <3

( blah blah blah~ )

The movie meme.

1. Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess.
4. Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions.

( your guess is as good as mine )

oh my god, my birthday is in two days, and i won't be a teenager anymore. sfaksjfrgnvd.

goddddd. okay, ever since i've quit smoking, my asthma has gotten worse. how the hell does this happen? makes me want to start smoking again- if only i wasn't mildly grossed out by the idea now. i've been sick and miserable and gross for more than a week and i just want it to stopppppp. arghh!

there are only four more years until the world ends, and i need to start living my life. which means, by the end of the fourth year, i'll be an accomplished ballet dancer (i've always wanted to dance and be graceful and one of my guilty pleasures is that horrible center stage movie), i'll have traveled to spain and lived there for a few months, lived in new york again, found my true love and soulmate, and be completely broke because one does not need money when the world ends.

also, i love my new dog, but my mom isn't letting me keep it. :( i'm gonna be really sad when he moves to new york to live with my granny.

i have a new puppy! his name is coconut, and skylar and our friend nadia found him on saturday during nicole's going away party, wandering outside of walgreens. and he's adorableeee. i took him to the vet today to get a physical, two shots, and his rabies shot, and the doctor said he's between 12 to 15 months old, and he's either a doxiepoo (dachshund/poodle mix) or a cockapoo (cocker spaniel/poodle mix). he's gotten this growth on his left eye, though, something called a third eyelid, and they need to do surgery on him to remove it. i don't know if we're keeping him forever, but i certainly hope so. :)



( more photos of coconut )

oh, and rachelllll! gimme your addressss~! ilu and imu!

( meme stolen from my lovely rachel. )

kay, so i saw i am legend tonight, and. gahhsjdhga. okay, the plot and the storyline had its faults, but overall, it was great and entertaining, and will smith's acting was just. it was amazing. i've always loved him as an actor, but it's evident how much he's grown just by doing this film. i know there have been a lot of bad reviews for this film, but the enormity of will smith's acting ability just carries the film and makes it great. srsly.

( spoilers. )

everyone, watch this movie! it has its plotholes (like any other movie, really), but it's a great watch. i had my doubts at first, but it's a really good movie. :') and if you don't like will smith, then you should watch it for the dog.

because, srsly. best supporting actress for the dog? y/y?

last night was awesome- i went to see deerhoof with curtis, leo, and aaron, and though i've only listened to the band a few times on their myspace (i've never heard of them before curtis invited me), i was pretty excited from what i'd heard. and, ajsfhsdga, it didn't disappoint. neither did the second opening act, who i think was called foreign fables. i dunno, but they were so freakin weird- it was great. and it was great seeing old friends who i haven't seen since graduation last year! :o

what wasn't great was HOW COLD IT WAS LAST NIGHT. OMG. so now i am sick. akjsfkajfre. ARGH. i don't know how i'm going to last in new yorkkkk. I JUST DON'T KNOW. srsly, i am so not used to the cold anymore- it's pathetic.

and this morning after i got back home from dropping off my sister at school, i went back to sleep and dreamt that he was standing right beside my bed, trying to wake me up by caressing my face, and, still half-asleep, i pulled him onto the bed and didn't bother asking how he got into my room. and, ughakjffsdkjffuck, it was so real, so so fucking real, and it was those kinds of dreams that you know are fake, but you can't help but want them to go on forever- so when i woke up, i was crying- which has never happened before- and i felt this utter sense of loss because i used to sneak him into my room a lot, and it was nice waking up with him. ughhsdkjs, i'm trying to get over him, and then this happens, and i feel like its set me back a bit.

oh my god, i am finally going crazy. no, really.

omggggg. so while my mother was in new york, she went to the warner bros. store in the city and BOUGHT ME A RAVENCLAW SCARF AND HAT. :D:D:D:D

alright, so last night i got drunk and went to a club (which i haven't been to in foreversss) and danced to fantastic music and texted chris on the ride over there. and tried calling him at the club cos he said texting costs too much. so all the fun i was having still didn't overshadow how much i missed him. hmm. this whole "getting over him" thing is taking way too long. hurry up. and i don't think i'm going to work tonight cos i might spontaneously burst into tears at any moment, like what's been happening all day yesterday, and i don't feel like embarrassing myself in front of my co-workers. aksjdfakjd. oh, have i mentioned that i put in my two weeks notice? yayyyy. last day is on december 6th! and my mom's birthday is december 12th, and my license gets suspended december 14th (i still need to go to court to get an extension/go to traffic school/do something about that), and i go to new york on december 18th! boy, so many things are happening in december- at least it'll take my mind off of being depressed. maybe i'll meet a nice boy on my trip to new york/ecuador. or maybe chris will get back with me by then. akjgakdfjrjkgsamn. whatever.

so i guess i broke up with my boyfriend today. i really, really love him, but he just seems like he doesn't give a fuck about anything. i just need a friend right now, and maybe a drink or ten, and maybe my boyfriend back, but i never get what i fucking want. i can never have a normal fucking relationship with anyone, and i won't get over him because i never do. ughhh. ughhgsjdfrjhsaa. fuck.

happy thanksgivingggg, peeps.

SOBS. WORK, PLS TO BE GIVING ME A BREAK. K, THANKS. i hate closinggg, i hate it, hate it. and cos the managers just love me, i close three times this week, on saturday, sunday, and tuesday. i close tuesday and then open on wednesday. FUCK YOU GUYS. srsly? i really don't want to close at 1:30am and then go back to work at 9:30am. arghhghkdsgjskl.

and now i am depressed because my mom and sister are going to be GONE for thanksgiving and i don't work that day, which is cool, but neither am i going to new york. :(:(:(:(

ooi. so, hmm. i've been pretty much absent from the internets lately, mostly because work has got me by the balls, basically, anddd yes, because of my new relationship with chris. that's all i do now, is go to work, and then see chris, or see chris, and then go to work. i really don't mind (i actually like it), but my mom's starting to get mad because we never spend time together anymore, so that makes me feel bad. :( so tomorrow i've no work, so hopefully we'll do lunch and go to the movies and see lars and the real girl. :)

oii. i saw american gangster last week, and it's made me fall in love with denzel washington again. ohhh denzel!

iii. so the pain in my legs have been getting worse, to the point where i actually went to the hospital for it (cos i could hardly walk properly), and the doctor gave me some medicine, and took blood :(:(:(, and said that there's a possibility i may have arthritis because apparently i'm an old lady. and now my mom's really worried because the doctor asked me if there was a history of lupus in my family, and i told him my aunt (my mom's sister) died from it, and he said lupus is related to arthritis?? i didn't even realize that. but i don't want her to worry about me, so i hope it's nothing, but then again i hope they find something, because then they can make this pain stop and i won't think doctor's are complete idiots.

oiv. i need to quit my job alreadyyy. all this standing is not good for my legs. chris' sisters' mom is like district manager or something of bank of america around here, and told me to give her my resume so she can get my a job at the bank of america closest to me. yayyy. :) they start off at $10, so that's pretty sweet.


ummm, hmm. yeah, that's it.

i fuck things up too quickly. like always. ughh. maybe i'm just being paranoid, i don't know.

on my work breakie, blarghh. why must people insist on watching stupid stupid movies like SAW FOUR? or game plan or fred claus or, i dunno, any of the 342342 STUPID MOVIES out. working at a movie theatre teaches you that people really aren't all that smart, nope. XD

ummm. hmm. i wanted to post about the further stupidity of the human population, or perhaps just the ones in my house (i.e. my stepdad... which is pretty much it, really), but that'll take too long. AND OMG, HOW MUCH DO I LOVE FACEBOOK? dude, so my family has always been estranged from our extended garaicoa family (the family on my dad's side) cos my dad never met his dad before, but i found TWELVE garaicoas on facebook and i've been talking to one recently and omgomomggmndfmgdf ONE OF THEM LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY DAD WHEN HE WAS IN HIS EARLY TWENTIES. it is MIND BOTTLING. ahaha (get it?) and so when i go to ecuador i totally want to meet my new family, because omg, i've never really had real relationships with any of my cousins or aunts or uncles, and i've always wanted to have this big  extended family and be able to say i have 23423 cousins like everyone else can. SO I AM EXCITED. and i just really want my dad to find his family already, and i think this could be it. i mean, they're from guayaquil, ecuador, which is where my dad was born, and grew up until he moved to new york at thirteen. that would make me happiest, just knowing my dad is happy, because can you imagine never knowing a whole big part of your family?



oh yeah, and i have a boyfriend now. :):):):):):):):):):):):)

[18:57] Iheartfatfats: they need more cheese
[18:57] Iheartfatfats:
[18:57] omggitssamantha: GREAT, NOW I'M NOT GOING TO EAT THEM >: |
[18:58] Iheartfatfats: whatever then STARVE!!!
[18:58] Iheartfatfats: SEE IF I CARE!!!
[18:58] omggitssamantha: I'M NOT GOING TO STARVE
[19:00] Iheartfatfats: oh yeah i forgot you can survive off your winter fat
[19:00] Iheartfatfats: LIKE A BEAR!!
[19:00] Iheartfatfats: AHAHAHHAAHHA
[19:00] omggitssamantha: jsahahjashdahahajdas
[19:00] omggitssamantha: good one, sister. that was a good one.
[19:00] Iheartfatfats: ha sucker

jesus, i feel like i've been away for the entire week. well, i kinda have, but anyway. my mom and ernesto are coming back home today, so no more sleepovers and late-night adventures with chris- or, at least, no more sleepovers and staying at emergency room waiting room till six in the morning.

i saw across the universe and thirty days of night this week, and across was amazingamazing and i wanted to sing along to all the songs, and it brought tears to my eyes and it was so trippy and great, andand i loved it. and thirty was okay but the ending was laaaame.


k.